It’s been well over a year since the last time I posted anything here. For the most part, that year has been pretty uneventful in the romance department. A couple hookups, a couple crushes, falling in love with yet another best friend (I’m over it now, thank god). We’ll call him Clark Kent.
At least that was how it was until the end of April.
I’ll start sort of at the beginning. A few months ago I started noticing the new cook at my favorite bar/restaurant. He was cute, but didn’t seem particularly social. I wasn’t sure if he was married, gay, gay and married, or what, but just sort of dismissed it.
Finally, this spring, a friend and I struck up a conversation with him after his shift ended one night. Chatted for a couple hours, even after my friend left. Fast forward a bit…he asks my friend out. She declines, as she was hanging out with someone else who works at the same place and thought it would be awkward.
He and I chat at the bar most nights I’m there when he gets done work. Finally one night he invites me to go hang out with him and his friend who also works in the kitchen. I go, because why not?
We end up making out in his kitchen that night. Very PG-rated. First time I’ve made out with a new dude who didn’t immediately get handsy in…forever? It was a nice change.
Then he didn’t seem particularly interested. Still chatted at the bar, but didn’t seem like he cared to do more than that.
A week later, I had literally The Worst Day At Work Ever™ and ended up booty calling him. Did the classic “wanna watch a movie or something sometime?” message, which very quickly turned into watching a movie that night. We made it three minutes into the movie before we went upstairs.
I was good with it just being a booty call. He was cute, but I didn’t think he was all that interesting or really even my type. And I’d heard rumors that he had some serious shit in his past.
A few days later he invited me over to watch a show I’d mentioned wanting to see (points for remembering I had mentioned it). I went over, we watched two episodes of the show while cuddling on the couch, and then ended up upstairs again.
We went from seeing each other a couple times a week to seeing each other every day. Then I went out of town for 5 days, and he wanted me to come over the night I got back rather than waiting till the next day, even though he’d ended up having to work a 12-hour shift that day.
We see each other most nights now. He only lives 10 minutes away, which makes it easy. On nights he works, I go over after he gets done. But on the weekends or on days he has off, we often end up spending the whole day together. I spent the night for the first time last weekend. I’m not good at sharing a bed with another person, but it was still nice.
Last weekend was also the first time we sort of went on a date that didn’t involve a bed or couch or tv. Forty minutes after I left his house the morning after I spent the night, he messaged me to see if I wanted to go with him shopping and then out to lunch.
It sounds so cliched, but he feels like home to me. All of my usual commitment issues, my “I don’t know if I want a boyfriend” doubts are gone. I would commit to him if he asked. It feels like we’re headed in that direction, but I don’t know. And now I’m so smitten with him that I’m afraid to ask in case I’ve read him all wrong.
I think I’m falling in love. I think he might be, too. The other night we went from what felt like just fucking to something that felt more like making love.
We have plans to maybe hang out tonight (he’s going out for drinks after work, so it depends on what time he heads home and whether I’m still awake or not), but then definitely tomorrow (he’s cooking) and Sunday (I’m cooking).
The only real downside is that we’re keeping all of this quiet at his work. Which is kind of awkward since I’m friends with people he works with (one person there knows that he and I are seeing each other, but also knows that we’re not broadcasting it). But there’s also a ton of gossip that happens there, so I understand him wanting to keep things quiet for now. I hope at some point things will get serious enough that we’ll be more public about it.